Grey Walls

June 14, 2023

When I moved into my present home, I painted all the walls grey. I don't know why I did that. I detested the trend at the time to paint house interiors grey, with grey furniture and grey floors. You know the look. A house's interior that looks like a black and white photo. I've always liked earth tones or pastels. Why then, did I do it?

I tend to philosophize everything, so this isn't a hard one to figure out.

With my wife in the final throes of metastatic breast cancer, which we battled together battled for five years, life itself was pretty bleak.

There was a time, before I even met Lynette, when I lived my life as if it were a work of art. From my home's furnishings and dècor to how I dressed and even moved through life, I was an artist. It wasn't phony, either. It came quite naturally to me. It was how I was brought up.

Now I sit here looking at my surroundings. Grey, grey, grey. I think I may paint one wall in this room as an accent wall, not because I think that's all I need, but because I don't have the energy—physically or emotionally—to paint the entire room. Not something bright or garish. Something uplifting, but muted. An accent wall would be easy.

I dreamed of parakeets last night. They were in an arbor above my head, chittering and chattering happily, and they filled me with joy. Parakeets foretell happy times ahead. They indicate that I am breaking out of the fog of grief at last, and that my love of life is returning.

So enough of living in a grey space. I want to return to living my life as an artist.